Arctic Mark in Stanley Park

Gun Crimes 'R Us

2008-02-21T16:47:35-08:00

It wasn't bad enough that two men (both, not surprisingly, "known to police") were gunned down in their car a couple of blocks from my apartment only a week after I moved to the Marpole neighbourhood of South Vancouver; yesterday a federal report announced that Vancouver has the worst (ie. highest) rate of gun crimes in Canada for 2007. The silver medal went to Winnipeg, with only the bronze (oh the shame!) being awarded to my hometown of Trauma, Onterrible. If only these local crime scenarios were as harmlessly innocent and whimsical as the Mary Pickford movie clip shown above.

In fact, according to police, the majority of Vancouver-area gun crimes are related to the viciously competitive illegal drug trade. Unfortunately for the rest of us law-abiding citizens, the bitter rivalry between criminal gangs in the lower mainland has been erupting more and more frequently in wild shootouts in public places, often resulting in injury or death to innocent bystanders. There have been a disturbingly high number of these kinds of incidents recently, and the nearby impromptu memorial at the stoplight at Granville & 70th is a haunting reminder to me and everyone else in my neighbourhood that these kinds of crimes can happen anywhere, anytime.

So should I be worried about going out in public in and around Vancouver? Not on your life. It used to irritate me no end back in Toronto when I'd meet someone who lived elsewhere in Ontario, and the first thing they'd say upon hearing I was from Toronto was something like: "Wow! You must be brave!! Isn't it dangerous just stepping outside your door, with all those bullets flying everywhere from all those drive-by shootings and gangland slayings going on all the time?" Now, one has to wonder: where did (and do) these people - not all from peaceful small towns, by the way - get their impression of Toronto as an all-out criminal war zone? It may sound like an easy out, but I blame the media, especially the local CTV nightly newscast, although there are plenty of other guilty parties out there. How else to explain the puzzling fact that, despite steadily declining or static crime statistics over the last 10-15 years, the public's perception of crime is that it is on a sharp but steady increase.

My admittedly paranoid theory is that the large media conglomerates like to fan the flames of middle-class (sub)urban fear and paranoia by jumping on every incident of crime, devoting more attention to it than it deserves, and framing it so that it takes on a distorted, inaccurately broad and urgent social significance. Why do they do this? Oh, I don't know...maybe because they are owned by the same conservative power brokers who have a vested interest in hard-line "law & order" political agendas, and how better to stir up public support for these agendas than by portraying every incident of crime in the city as evidence of a terrible crisis in public safety, which threatens to hit comfortable middle and upper-class voters right where they live? (Yes, I know - Michael Moore and Naomi Klein called, and they want their rants back.)

Anyway, when confronted yet again with a distorted image of Toronto from yet another non-Torontonian, I would never tire of telling that person that, impossible as it might seem, in my 40 years of living in Toronto, I had never once heard a gunshot, seen a mugging, witnessed a crime, or been a victim myself of a crime. Having said that, I'd be the first to admit that there are certain streets and neighbourhoods where one should not venture, especially alone and at night, and especially if you are a woman (at least, a woman without a black belt in martial arts, or her very own stylish personal taser).

Now, some might say that my entirely benevolent experience of Toronto doesn't reflect the crime-ridden reality of the rest of the population. Well, I do admit to spending very little time in parking lots of crowded nightclubs at 3 am, just as large numbers of inebriated and often belligerent young revellers come spilling out onto the pavement, looking for trouble, and often finding it; so I guess my perspective is clearly biased and not very representative of the general population.

On a very serious and tragic note, it was exactly the above scenario that led to the shocking death a year ago of 19-year-old Orin Felix, a very talented and promising former student of mine at Pine Ridge S.S. in Pickering. (You can Google his name if you want to read the media reports of his death.) In Orin's case, he was - true to his character - trying to break up a fight in just such a parking lot in Ajax late on a Thursday night, and he was stabbed to death for his trouble. I was utterly shocked and saddened and incredulous when I heard of his death while still up in Ulukhaktok last spring, via an email from a friend back at Pine Ridge. What a tragic and senseless loss!

And yet I'm not about to adopt an attitude of fear and paranoia just because there has been a rash of gun-related crimes in the Vancouver area in the last few months, some of which have resulted in the deaths of innocent civilians. One positive result of this recent crime wave is that, by all accounts, the police, local government officials, and the general public are all becoming fed up with the escalating "Wild West" atmosphere (sorry to stoop to a media-friendly buzz-phrase, but I couldn't resist throwing one in). There seems to be a strong public consensus that something substantial needs to be done on a large scale to get these drug-gang wars under control. We'll see how that plays out in the next few months.

In the meantime, in the immortal words of Sgt. Phil Esterhaus from "Hill Street Blues":

"Let's be careful out there!!"

P.S. If you need a break from all the doom and gloom of crime statistics, feel free to peruse the two new Photo Galleries I've just added, combining Nov. & Dec. into one, and doing the same for Jan. & Feb. I promise you won't find anything in there more dangerous than my recent first-ever snowshoeing expedition with Bryn up Hollyburn Mountain in West Vancouver's stunning Cypress Park (although we were harrassed and robbed of food scraps by a very bold little bird, as you'll see).

We Can All Make Change!

2008-02-18T19:45:06-08:00

Change is definitely in the air...I think Barack Obama is right about one thing at least: people (and not just the American electorate) are hungry for change. And in his campaign for the Democratic nomination, he has so far managed to brilliantly capitalize on this widespread, if unfocused and undefined, sense of yearning. More about Mr. Obama shortly...

This recent photo (taken by a student using my camera) was a striking reminder to me of the power of visual images to transcend ideological debates and partisan politics.

On Friday, Feb. 8, in the company of three Grade 12 students from my school, I attended a conference in Richmond, BC, organized by World Vision Canada. The conference was called "Youth Empowered" and was aimed at increasing students' awareness of global development issues while building their leadership skills for community activism at the local, national and international levels. As the Chair of South Delta Secondary School's Social Justice Committee, I was encouraged by my principal to accompany our school's three student representatives to this exciting event. There were several student-focused workshops and discussions throughout the day, the most interesting of which was facilitated by two visitors from Tanzania, who led the group through an imaginary village meeting in which various community stakeholders were assigned the difficult task of determining how their allotted aid resources are to be divided amongst the competing needs of the village. In a village where there is little or no clean water, a shortage of food, poor (or non-existent) schooling, and minimal health care facilities, how does one decide which of the many pressing social needs are the most urgent? Should we relieve the most immediate short-term crises, or shift our focus instead to longer-term development of local infrastructures, or try to achieve the impossible by balancing the two? It was a fascinating process, mediated throughout by the the guests from Tanzania, along with the impressively informed World Vision staff.

One of the highlights of the day was another group activity which came out of World Vision's current "Hungry For Change" photo-essay campaign. They are asking anyone in Canada, non-students as well as students, who feels strongly that we should be increasing our foreign aid commitments rather than decreasing them, to create a photo message to that effect, using whatever available materials are at hand, but without any faces showing. Once you've created your photo-message, you can upload it to the Gallery at the World Vision website (at the link below). More photos are being added all the time, up until the campaign closes in May, at which point World Vision plans to hand deliver all of the photos to Prime Minister Harper in the hope of persuading his government to increase, rather than decrease, their commitment to international development aid. You can view the photos that have been submitted to date at the following link: http://advocacy.worldvision.ca/eactivist/worldv/wvGallery.jsp

The above photo-message was the result of my being seated at a table with four Grade 10 students from the host school, McMath S.S. in Richmond. We played around with several phrases involving the word "change," and finally agreed on the one you see above, using the loose change we had between us. (In case you hadn't guessed, my hands are the big ones on the right.) The official photographer came around and snapped photos of all of the messages created by the various groups, all of which will be posted soon on the World Vision site. I was surprised by how powerfully immediate and visceral many of these messages were. In addition to our own stellar one pictured above, one group used an amazing range of food products to spell out in large letters: "Starvation Kills." But the group whose message hit me hardest used just their bodies to send a powerful message. All six group members stood in a line with their hands covering their faces (as if in shame), and printed on the back of each person's hand in large bold letters was one word from this humbling and quite moving message: "We Can Do Better Than This." The memory of that image and message still sends shivers down my spine. As I was leaving at the end of the day with the students from my school, and we were discussing the many exciting ideas and positive impressions that we were taking away with us, it struck me that, in at atmosphere such as this, it's very difficult to maintain a posture of cynicism or despair about the monumental problems facing the world. All in all, a very productive and inspiring day, for all of the students, for the other teacher-chaperones, and for me.

All of which brings me back to Senator Obama. It seems to me that his astonishing success so far in the campaign for the Democratic nomination is due in no small part to his much-noted ability to inspire people from a broad range of backgrounds and interest groups to become engaged in the political process, from the grass-roots level right up to the highest corridors of power. While many of his actual policy positions have yet to be clearly defined, and while he may not have the depth of experience that Senator Clinton has, his calls for profound "change" in American political life - vague and undefined as they may seem at times - have nonetheless stirred up a remarkable positive reaction from a huge number of people across America, and around the world. I think people sense that there's more going on here than just more of the same old manipulative "spin" cynically engineered to win votes.

I do honestly believe that we can all make change...that we can and should think globally and act locally...or think locally and act globally...that we can and should - as Mahatma Gandhi said - "Be the change you want to see in the world." I've seen the reality of these kinds of imaginative transformations in some of my students over my eight years of teaching, and they continue to inspire me to this day. Interesting times we live in, eh? I wouldn't miss any of it for the world.

Somewhere Under the Rainbow...

2008-02-08T22:19:05-08:00

Upon seeing this spectacular double rainbow appear in my Marpole neighbourhood of South Vancouver after a rainstorm back in November, it was hard not to think that this was a sign from the powers-that-be that I'd made a good choice in moving here. Still haven't found the pot of gold, though, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled. I hope that guy with the umbrella didn't get to it first...

THE WORLD'S LARGEST PAPER CLIP?

2008-02-03T17:41:34-08:00

Anyone who lives in (or has visited) the GVA (Greater Vancouver Area) will recognize this sculpture in Vanier Park in the Kitsilano neighbourhood of Vancouver. If not, you may recall this photo as the cover of my Photo Gallery from last July. Entitled "Gate to the Northwest Passage," this sculpture stands near the entrance to False Creek, and is hard to miss. I took this photo last summer because I liked the way the sculpture framed the sunset. Reading the plaque afterwards, I was interested to discover the title, which was one of many such reminders of the north that I've encountered since moving here to the west coast last June. (By far the most ubiquitous of these would have to be the Vancouver 2010 Olympics inukshuk symbol.) Intrigued by the title, I wanted to find out more about this sculpture, and looked for information on the internet. I found an entry under "Vancouver Public Art," which I thought was worth reprinting here:

[Public Art Registry:

"Gate to the Northwest Passage" by Alan Chung Hung

NEIGHBOURHOOD: Kitsilano
OWNERSHIP: City of Vancouver
TYPE: Sculpture
STATUS: Existing

Site Name:     Vanier Park
Address:     1100 Chestnut St.
Location on Site of Work:
N.E. of Centennial Museum, along waterfront
Installed:     1980
Primary Materials:
Corten steel
Sponsoring Organization:
Parks Canada
Donor:
Historic Sites and Monuments, Parks Canada

Description of Work:
The large steel sculpture is set on a 26' x 28' plaza of paving stones. The sculpture consists of a 15' square of corten steel. Each side of the square is 15' long by 3' high by 3' wide. The bottom side appears to be cut apart in the middle and the two parts wrenched apart to form a gate or arch. The corten steel is designed so that the surface rust forms a protective coating. There was some adverse reaction from Kits Point residents when the work was installed. Michael Duncan, Chief Curator of the Maritime Museum at the time, called it "a bloody monstrosity." An article in the Globe and Mail teased that it could be "the world's largest paper clip." The article (Mar3, 1981) also quoted from a city planning study which read: "Vancouver's peerless natural setting is a permanent gift from nature. So massive and close are the North Shore mountains that no amount of human folly can ever obliterate them." But the controversy soon abated and the piece has weathered time and opinion. It was vandalized on July 4th, 1988, when a field of white dots were painted on its surfaces -probably as an art "intervention". The dots were soon removed. Since then, the "Gate to the Northwest Passage" has become a familiar landmark, an important place marker which stands guard at the entrance to False Creek. The area around the site is a favorite for kite flyers.

Artist Statement:

The parameters for the juried competition operated by Parks Canada were to create "a monument in Vanier Park to commemorate Captain George Vancouver," the first European to sail into Burrard Inlet, in 1792. The competition guidelines (1979) specified a sculpture made of permanent materials, "not wood," and that it should not be in the likeness of a man. The form of the work takes off from two 18th century navigational instruments: the plane table and David's quadrant. Chung Hung said that, "The objective of the sculpture is to create a symbolic image with definite visual expression, awakening an awareness in Captain George Vancouver's contribution to the world, his remarkable and meticulous surveys which included the north Pacific coast." The piece frames English Bay from the north view and the Centennial Museum from the south view. The opportunity for a sculpture was offered to the city by Hugh Faulkner, Minister of Indian and Northern Affairs at the time. The project was recommended by the Historic Sites and Monuments Board of Canada. A five-member jury headed by former parks superintendent Stuart Lefeaux selected Alan Chung Hung's proposal from a local competition and the Parks Board approved the choice. Gordon Smith, a member of the selection panel, said that "If people think Hung's sculpture is a poor catch, they should have seen the ones that got away." It was originally to be sited at Ferguson Point in Stanley Park.]

[This photo of a kite sitting on the sculpture was taken by "Proggie" and can be found at www.flickr.com/photos/tym/216687789/]

There are many nuggets which I found interesting or noteworthy in this entry. The controversy at the time is certainly understandable; this sculpture seems designed to provoke strong reactions. I especially enjoyed learning about the vandalism/"art intervention" involving white dots painted all over it. Aside from the Globe and Mail's justifiably glib judgement, I was amazed to read the comment from panel member Gordon Smith. Smith is arguing in essence that the public should put aside their objections and be happy with this sculpture mainly because the other contenders were much worse!! It does seem difficult to argue with that kind of logic, doesn't it?

As always with these issues, posterity will be the final arbiter. Is "Gate to the Northwest Passage" a bloody monstrosity, a poor catch, the world's largest paper clip, or "a symbolic image with definite visual expression, awakening an awareness in Captain George Vancouver's contribution to the world, his remarkable and meticulous surveys which included the north Pacific coast"? Whatever your own view might be on this question, it undoubtedly makes a nice frame for an English Bay sunset in July, or a north shore mountainscape on a sunny day, or any other breathtaking view you might want to capture from this hallowed ground in downtown Vancouver.

[This photo was taken by Sylvia Grace Borda, and can be found on the City of Vancouver's Public Art Registry website: www.city.vancouver.bc.ca/publicart_wa/jpg/110.jpg]

Season's Bleatings

2008-01-02T01:05:05-08:00

Happy New Year everybody!!! Wow...hard to believe it's now 2008...also hard to believe that it's now been well over two months since my last post!! Where DOES the time go??? I'm also amazed to see that there are still over a hundred visits here every single day, despite the complete absence of activity or new content on my part. I can think of only three possible reasons to explain this phenomenon:

1) New readers have found me through random internet searches and are reading some or all of my Arctic postings and photos for the first time (oh how I envy them that first exhilarating glimpse into the twisted world and mind of Arctic Mark); [One such reader just posted a comment today on my post from last May 2nd entitled "The Little Town That Cried Wolf." This reader, identified only as "DREDD," left a short but pithy comment which displayed a subtle and nuanced understanding of the issues I had raised in that post: "F*CK YOU ALL WOLF KILLERS!" (Asterix added.) Normally I'm not in the habit of deleting reader comments, but this is a family blogsite after all, so I had no choice but to delete it from the comment section. However, despite my disapproval of his/her language and tone, I'm grateful to DREDD for finally providing the catalyst for me to kickstart this blog-thingey into gear again after all these weeks in cyber-limbo.]

2) Old (in the non-age-specific sense), disillusioned, and yet miraculously still loyal readers are checking in on a regular basis on the increasingly miniscule chance that I might have finally gotten off my butt and actually written something new to post on here;

OR:

3) Spambots.

What are "Spambots," you ask? I'm not really sure, but I've been led to believe (by certain mysterious and sinister IT specialists) that they are mysterious and sinister computer programs that randomly send out gibberish messages to millions of websites and email addresses every day, in the hopes or receiving some responses that will give them more genuine email and website addresses to add to their mysterious and sinister master lists, which of course are guaranteed to fall into the wrong hands at the earliest possible opportunity. Over the last few months, I have received several comments here from bizarre, undecipherable email addresses, the content of which usually read something like this: "e89fyui23bjhid67b2njkinj mkwknjd899992". I was told by the Blogspirit gatekeepers that these were probably sent by Spambots, and was advised to just ignore and delete them. I have done so in every case, but I can't seem to shake this feeling that there are countless mysterious and sinister computers out there in cyberspace recording every word and image on here, and sending out occasional cryptic messages to me as obscure warnings, all the while slowly but inexorably marshalling their forces for their final assault on me, my laptop, and all of humankind.... I know, I know, these sound like the rantings of a paranoid shut-in with tin foil on his windows...but remember - just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get me (and you too)!!

So, how've y'all been out there in the blogosphere, anyway?? Long time no chat with some of you. I now have unlimited long distance within Canada, so be warned: I'm going to call you very soon. Well, it's great to be back, folks, and I'm looking forward to resuming my blog duties with renewed energy and enthusiasm in this new year. (It seems appropriate that I should plunge back into the blogging fray on the first day of the new year, a day which saw Arctic Mark actually go for a lovely afternoon walk through - where else? - Stanley Park!) So much has been going on in my life, and in the Vancouver area, and around BC, and across Canada, and around the globe, that I'm sure there'll be no end of interesting material to write about. For instance, I'm currently in the process of trying to figure out the best way to organize all of my Arctic blog posts, photos, and photo comments from August, 2005, through to June, 2007, into some convenient and easily reproducible book format (self-published, or ideally published in glossy coffee-table-book format by a giant multinational corporate conglomerate). I'll keep you posted (so to speak) on my progress in that area. I'm also thinking of incorporating my Arctic blog materials into a larger book, which would be more of a retrospective memoir of my two amazing years in Holman/Ulukhaktok. Whichever format it finally takes, there's definitely a book in there somewhere (not to mention a multi-volume set of photo albums!). Not the least of my motives for doing this is the thought of how I would have a ready-made supply of Christmas and birthday presents for family and friends for years to come!

On that inspiring note, I will sign off for now, wishing everyone a most wonderful new year from the funky Marpole neighbourhood of South Vancouver!!

Jurassic Stanley Park?!

2007-10-08T19:26:59-07:00

NEWS BULLETIN FROM THE "WHAT THE $%&# WERE THEY THINKING?" DEPT.:

There was a bizarre news item making the media rounds here last week. It seems some geniuses at the Vancouver Park Board decided that Stanley Park, that beautifully verdant natural scenic highlight of the downtown area, is in dire need of a marketing makeover to draw in even more tourists, especially the paying variety.

What was their brilliant scheme? Simply this: build 25-30 giant, life-size animatronic dinosaurs and place them in the park near to the petting zoo and miniature railroad, and watch the tourists and their $$$$ flow into city coffers. Build them and they will come, apparently. Never mind that this herd of giant Robo-Dinos would look a little anachronistic (to say the least), would have nothing to do with the history of the park, and would likely disturb the enjoyment of the many people, both tourists and local residents, who come to this world-renowned park seeking an inner-city oasis of natural tranquility and beauty, not some tacky Disneyesque theme park. Many local media commentators, politicians, and members of the general public have been scratching their collective heads over this whole idea. But amongst all the local media hoopla over this plan, not one single critic that I've heard has mentioned the most pressing concern which this plan raises in my own mind: Did these Park Board people learn nothing from "Jurassic Park"??

In other news, the recent lack of the activity here at "Arctic Mark in Stanley Park" has been noted by several friends and family members, and I can only make my usual excuses: 1) my feverish preoccupation with finding a teaching job before I was forced to seek employment as either a Tim Hortons coffee-jockey, a Jehovah's Witness canvasser, or a male escort; 2) My very brief (5-day-long) career as a supply teacher for the West Vancouver Board a couple of weeks ago; 3) Getting hired on Sept. 27 for a full-time job teaching English at South Delta S.S. in sunny Tsawwassen, a lovely little town about half an hour south of Vancouver in the Fraser River Delta region, very close to the U.S. border, and also more widely known as the more southerly of the two main ferry terminals in the Lower Mainland, where one can catch the ferry over to Victoria on Vancouver Island; 4) Doing a one-day, three-hour apartment search in the Marpole neighbourhood of South Vancouver, where I landed a newly-renovated one-bedroom apartment with hardwood floors and all new appliances, etc., on Shaughnessy St., which I am moving into this Saturday, Oct. 13. My head's still spinning over the amazing fact that I managed to find a new job and apartment in the same week! 5) Oh yes, and things have been rolling along nicely on the social life front, as the more observant among you may have deduced from the September Photo Gallery ;-) So, all in all, it's been a pretty crazily busy and exciting month since my last post, although I did find time to post a batch of photos a while ago in the Sept. Photo Gallery.

Speaking of which, I have a bunch of new photos from this past weekend's very fun voyage with Bryn and my cousin Corey to Mom & Gary's place in Arbutus Ridge north of Victoria, which means I need to create the October Photo Gallery first in order to have somewhere to put them, so I'll sign off here by wishing everyone a belated Happy Thanksgiving! I'm certainly feeling very thankful right now for a whole bunch of things. The pieces of the puzzle of my new life in Vancouver seem to be falling into place pretty darned quick these days....so in other words, it's safe to assume that no blog activity means lots of life activity....no news is good news! (Note: This does not mean, however, that a flurry of blog activity necessarily means that my life has become boring, uneventful or miserable :) In essence, there's no rhyme or reason to any of this, and I'm still amazed that anyone would want to read my rambling, self-absorbed ruminations when there's so much high-quality reality-TV out there to keep you both entertained and informed. (Facetious? Moi? Never!!)

Well, folks, g2g, so I'll ttyl,

Mark

Signs of the Times (Seattle Edition)

2007-09-14T00:31:17-07:00

The following signs were spotted and photographed during my recent trip to Seattle for the annual Bumbershoot Music & Arts Festival on the Labour Day long weekend. All of my photos from that fantabulous trip are now available for viewing in the September Photo Gallery, but I thought these few were worthy of special notice here, for obvious reasons (obvious to me, anyway).

"NO SNEAKER-ING ANY TIME!!!" (THIS MEANS YOU!!)

[I was informed by Michael, one of our group, that two sneakers tied together like this and thrown over a phone or power line is a universally recognized sign that there is a new drug dealer in the neighbourhood - a subtle way for dealers to mark territory, apparently. I had never heard of this before, so I'd be interested to know if any readers have heard or seen anything like this in your 'hoods. If it's true, how does one distinguish between "legitimate" sneaker-signs from actual drug dealers, and joke signs by mischievous teens pretending to be gangstas? (As I hope is the case with the sneakers thrown over the phone line beside the playground in Port Moody where Vanessa and Ian take my niece Tia to play!) Or is this all just an urban myth?]

"NEED A LOAN? GOT A GUN? NO PROBLEM!!"

[I think this one is fairly self-explanatory, but seeing a sign like this does jolt you into a sudden realization that you are indeed in a different (alien?) country, one with its own distinctive history, social values and political culture.]

"BEST DEAL IN TOWN!! WE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD!!"

[This sign is found, not surprisingly, in the Pioneer Square section of Old Seattle, which was rebuilt right over

the ruins of the original city that were destroyed in a terrible fire many decades ago. I have to wonder: is that 75 cents per night, or per hour, or per minute?]

"IS IT A PLUM?? IS IT AN APRICOT? NEITHER! BOTH!!"

[Is it just me, or is the word "pluot" a really awkward and goofy neologism? I think "Apricum" is much more fitting and evocative, don't you? When I first saw this sign, I thought for sure it must be a joke, some kind of Monty Python stunt - "Get yer pluots here! Fresh, tasty pluots! What'll ye have, guv?" - where the pluot turns out to be a chocolate-dipped beetle or deep-fried rabbit turd. But whatever you want to call them, one thing is certain: they sure are juicy and delicious!]

"DO NOT ENTER: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL"

(ALTERNATE TITLE: "LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL: DO NOT ENTER")

[Isn't it interesting how a judiciously chosen and strategically placed sticker can alter, expand and/or subvert the explicit message on a public sign? Whichever way you choose to read this Seattle sign of the times, you will be inexorably drawn into a swirling vortex of paradox upon paradox...]

"PUNK ROCK YOGA!!!" (ONLY IN SEATTLE...)

[This photo was taken by Bryn, who only noticed the poster on the left once she got home to Vancouver, whereupon she immediately emailed a copy of this photo to me, knowing how much I would enjoy the concept of "Punk Rock Yoga." And what a perfect Seattle concept is it, too - combining the west-coast granola-peacenik associations of yoga with the hard-core grunge attitude of Seattle. I'm only sorry I couldn't stay around to actually attend a class or two - what a goldmine of photo ops and blog fodder that experience would have provided! Embodying as it does the essence of Seattle - determined by yours truly over the course of a mere 3-day visit - I think this photo is also the ideal piece with which to end this blog entry.]

[Note to readers who would prefer more text and less photos in their posts: Since a picture is worth 1000 words, this post is actually well over 6,000 words long. - hairsplitting ed.]

NWT RULES!! (And Coquitlam doesn't stink!!)

2007-09-13T00:10:48-07:00

Well, it seems that many of you decided to rise to the challenge and be Tested along with the Nation (and me) on Sunday night. It's been great hearing from so many of you, with your kind words of encouragement, support and friendly rivalry. Amazingly enough, the High School English Teachers did not emerge triumphant overall, losing a hotly contested battle in the final rounds to the (gasp!) Ad Writers!! In the aftermath of the taping last March, one of our team explained away the Ad Writers' victory as the very predictable result of their superb training years before at the hands of their high-school English teachers. Um, yeah, that's it...of course! How else to explain our unconscionable defeat? :)

Anyway, it was some consolation for me to discover that, among the many statistical tidbits compiled by the CBC during the show, the regional results showed that the Northwest Territories had the highest score of any region in Canada! (Thus the title of this post, which was also the slogan I had scrawled on the little chalkboard they gave each member of the teacher team to brandish as a symbolic prop.) I'd like to attribute this to some kind of wonderful, spontaneous rallying of the residents of my home territory (at the time) behind their sole representative. But perhaps it's just a result of the fact that, per capita and pound for pound, the NWT has a higher percentage of wily wordsmiths than any other region of Canada. Or maybe it's because only three people in the entire NWT actually watched and played along, and they happened to score very high on the test. I guess we'll never know the full story.

If you'd like to see all of the results and statistical breakdowns, as well as a CBC photo gallery from the show, you can log onto the "Test The Nation" website: http://www.cbc.ca/testthenation/index.html

At the very least, all of you (non-Saskatchewan-types) now know the correct term for a hooded sweatshirt in Saskatchewan: a "bunny hug"! I think two hours of your life last Sunday night was a small price to pay for that golden nugget of linguistic lore.

Signing off from sunny Coquitlam, (the "place that stinks of fish slime"),

Mark

P.S. After just discovering the true meaning of the name of the community I live in just east of Vancouver, I'd like to report that I haven't noticed much fish slime stench since I moved here earlier this summer. Just the occasional aroma of BC Bud wafting over from the grow-op down the street (before the cops shut it down - see my previous post "There Goes The Neighbourhood" from July 28), mixed with the piquant fragrance of freshly spilled oil from the pipeline that burst during a construction accident in neighbouring Burnaby several weeks ago. Several houses, trees, cars, people and pets in the immediate area were doused with a thick shower of falling oil, which took weeks to clean up, and which also unfortunately drained into nearby Burrard Inlet. Officials and scientists are still assessing the environmental impact. But don't get me started on the damage to local real estate property values! There goes the neighbourhood (again)...

Shameless Self-Promotional Plug #247

2007-09-09T10:44:02-07:00

ARCTIC MARK IS GOING TO BE ON TV TONIGHT!!

Yes, it's true, and for those of you who managed to escape my mass-emailing a few days ago - otherwise known as "Shameless Self-Promotional Plug #246 - I present for your perusal below one of the many CBC newsletters I've received over the last few weeks. This is the quiz show that I took part in last March 17 in Toronto, where I was flown by the CBC to be one of 40 high-school English teachers from across Canada, competing against six other teams. The show was taped for broadcast later in the year, which happens to be tonight, so you'll finally get to see what all the fuss is about. You can also take a gander at my posts and Photo Galleries from last February and March to see my backstage photos and read all about my experiences traveling to Toronto and doing the show. I have no idea how often I'll be appearing or visible during the two-hour show, or whether my 15-second interview by Brent Bambury ended up on the cutting-room floor. All will be revealed tonight at 8pm on CBC-TV. If you want to play along and take the quiz live in "real time," you can keep track of your answers with pen and paper, or you can log onto the CBC site below and play on-line. My score was a pretty respectable 59 out of 70 (84%), so I'd love to hear how well any of the rest of you do on the quiz.

Can you beat Arctic Mark's score in the ultimate test of verbal virtuosity, grammatical greatness, linguistic liveliness and literary lithesomeness?? I believe the gauntlet has been thrown down. ;-)

CBC TELEVISION TESTS THE NATION’S LANGUAGE SKILLS!!
WILL HIGH SCHOOL TEACHERS OUTSMART THEIR STUDENTS? TUNE IN THIS SUNDAY, SEPT. 9 AT 8 P.M. TO FIND OUT!!

Ever wondered what teens r tlkg about? Need a transl8tr? Canadians will have an opportunity to decipher teen speak, and a chance to test their linguistic wits—Canadian style—when TEST THE NATION: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE telecasts Sunday, Sept. 9 at 8 p.m. on CBC Television. Wendy Mesley (Marketplace) and Brent Bambury (Go) are back to host the second edition of the series, a two-hour interactive quiz show about how we use—and abuse—the English language, with a unique Canadian twist.

There’s no doubt about it—Canadians have their own highly distinctive form of the English language. In fact, Canadian English is so unique we even have our own edition of the Oxford Dictionary. But, how well do we actually know Canadian English? Can the average person tell a metaphor from a spoonerism? What about regional expressions?

The show will also challenge common beliefs about language aptitude. Will participants who watch 16 to 20 hours a week of television outwit the bookworms? We know that girls often start talking before boys, but which sex will prevail in TEST THE NATION: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE?

In the studio, seven teams—a total of 240 people from every province and territory—will be tested on their word wisdom. The teams are word gamers, ad writers, English teachers, fraternities and sororities, comedians, romance novelists and celebrities. The celebrity team includes Cathy Jones, Sheila McCarthy, Kim Stockwood, Patrick McKenna, Sook-Yin Lee, Russell Smith and Andrew Coyne. In addition, 10 high schools from across the country will battle it out: Lester B. Pearson High School, Alta.; Rick Hansen Secondary School, B.C.; Shaftsbury High School, Man.; Harbour View High School, N.B.; Gander Collegiate, Nfld.; Halifax West High, N.S.; Gananoque Secondary School, Ont.; Morell Regional High School, P.E.I.; Philemon Wright High School, Que.; and Walter Murray Collegiate, Sask.

Studio contestants and viewers at home will be asked 70 questions in seven categories: Spelling Eh?, Language Terms, Made In Canada, Teen Speak, Everyday Mistakes, The Arts, What the …? and Word Origins. At the end of the show, the results will be averaged and each group’s overall score will be announced as well as the highest individual score.

“More than 1.5 million Canadians loved the interactive element of Test the Nation: IQ, and 200,000 played online,” said Kirstine Layfield, executive director, network programming, CBC Television. “We’re confident that viewers will be entertained when they sit back and take the language test with their families.”

Viewers can play along live by logging onto http://www.cbc.ca/testthenation, with pen and paper or with the official scorecard provided by Quaker in the Sept. 8 edition of the National Post and available for download on the website.

The next instalment of CBC Television’s TEST THE NATION franchise, testing knowledge of world trivia, will air in January. TEST THE NATION: WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE is a CBC television production. The executive producer is Jim Williamson.

The Tip of the Nuclear Iceberg?

2007-09-08T02:25:03-07:00

I wasn't sure what to make of this when I saw it recently behind a high-security fence near the harbour in Port Moody. Is it the rusted remains of a space capsule? The broken tip of a giant mechanical pencil? Or could it be the unthinkable worst-case scenario: the possibly still-armed warhead of a nuclear missile? One thing is certain: in its current condition, it's in no danger of exceeding the posted speed limit of 20 km/h.

It's also interesting to note that this mysterious and ominous-looking object was sighted in Port Moody, an otherwise peaceful and innocuous suburban community lying just to the east of Vancouver. Undoubtedly Vancouver itself would never tolerate such an object in its "nuclear weapons free zone," but apparently the surrounding communities are fair game for the unrestrained stockpiling of a nuclear arsenal. I suspect that, in terms of secret stockpiles of weapons of mass destruction in the lower mainland of B.C., this is just the tip of the iceberg (so to speak). Stay tuned for more paranoid and possibly delusional ravings, coming soon...