The following signs were spotted and photographed during my recent trip to Seattle for the annual Bumbershoot Music & Arts Festival on the Labour Day long weekend. All of my photos from that fantabulous trip are now available for viewing in the September Photo Gallery, but I thought these few were worthy of special notice here, for obvious reasons (obvious to me, anyway).
"NO SNEAKER-ING ANY TIME!!!" (THIS MEANS YOU!!)
[I was informed by Michael, one of our group, that two sneakers tied together like this and thrown over a phone or power line is a universally recognized sign that there is a new drug dealer in the neighbourhood - a subtle way for dealers to mark territory, apparently. I had never heard of this before, so I'd be interested to know if any readers have heard or seen anything like this in your 'hoods. If it's true, how does one distinguish between "legitimate" sneaker-signs from actual drug dealers, and joke signs by mischievous teens pretending to be gangstas? (As I hope is the case with the sneakers thrown over the phone line beside the playground in Port Moody where Vanessa and Ian take my niece Tia to play!) Or is this all just an urban myth?]
"NEED A LOAN? GOT A GUN? NO PROBLEM!!"
[I think this one is fairly self-explanatory, but seeing a sign like this does jolt you into a sudden realization that you are indeed in a different (alien?) country, one with its own distinctive history, social values and political culture.]
"BEST DEAL IN TOWN!! WE WILL NOT BE UNDERSOLD!!"
[This sign is found, not surprisingly, in the Pioneer Square section of Old Seattle, which was rebuilt right over
the ruins of the original city that were destroyed in a terrible fire many decades ago. I have to wonder: is that 75 cents per night, or per hour, or per minute?]
"IS IT A PLUM?? IS IT AN APRICOT? NEITHER! BOTH!!"
[Is it just me, or is the word "pluot" a really awkward and goofy neologism? I think "Apricum" is much more fitting and evocative, don't you? When I first saw this sign, I thought for sure it must be a joke, some kind of Monty Python stunt - "Get yer pluots here! Fresh, tasty pluots! What'll ye have, guv?" - where the pluot turns out to be a chocolate-dipped beetle or deep-fried rabbit turd. But whatever you want to call them, one thing is certain: they sure are juicy and delicious!]
"DO NOT ENTER: LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL"
(ALTERNATE TITLE: "LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL: DO NOT ENTER")
[Isn't it interesting how a judiciously chosen and strategically placed sticker can alter, expand and/or subvert the explicit message on a public sign? Whichever way you choose to read this Seattle sign of the times, you will be inexorably drawn into a swirling vortex of paradox upon paradox...]
"PUNK ROCK YOGA!!!" (ONLY IN SEATTLE...)
[This photo was taken by Bryn, who only noticed the poster on the left once she got home to Vancouver, whereupon she immediately emailed a copy of this photo to me, knowing how much I would enjoy the concept of "Punk Rock Yoga." And what a perfect Seattle concept is it, too - combining the west-coast granola-peacenik associations of yoga with the hard-core grunge attitude of Seattle. I'm only sorry I couldn't stay around to actually attend a class or two - what a goldmine of photo ops and blog fodder that experience would have provided! Embodying as it does the essence of Seattle - determined by yours truly over the course of a mere 3-day visit - I think this photo is also the ideal piece with which to end this blog entry.]
[Note to readers who would prefer more text and less photos in their posts: Since a picture is worth 1000 words, this post is actually well over 6,000 words long. - hairsplitting ed.]
